The Art of Conversation
by alphadine
Summary: *He frowned at the young girl approaching his table. Not what he had had in mind when he had thought of female company.*


**Disclaimer:** Just borrowed... they are still Joss'

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It was his night of. They had landed on this planet just a couple of hours ago and somehow he had managed not to be on watch. Now he sat here in this so-called bar where the lights were not too bright and the drinks not too bad. He didn't expected more, maybe some willing woman. But the night was still young, so anything could happen.

"Sometimes you're just a lucky son of a bitch, Jayne Cobb" he mused over his beer when a slender shadow fell on him. He frowned at the young girl approaching his table. Not what he had had in mind when he had thought of female company.

"What'ya doin' here, huh? This isn't a place for someone like you. Does yer brother even know?"

He hadn't expected any other answer than the sheepish shake of her head when she sat down at his table.

"You shouldn't even be here. If someone like the Capt'n or yer brother sees ya here with me they blame me for bringing ya to a place like this. "

"I'm here on my own will" She glared at him defiantly.

"Tell that ta yer brother, he'll probly emasculate me, if he gets to know, though I'm not sure before or after the Capt'n thrown me out of the airlock as soon as we hit atmo."

He took a mouthful of his beer and chuckled spitefully.

"Na, likely before, since yer sassy brother is afraid of the black"

"Wouldn't change the result"

"Huh?" His glass halted midway to the table.

"Jayne would still be …" she paused and a wicked grin spread over her face ".. a girl"

He growled and shoved his chair back in an angry motion.

"Won't ever happen. Because you're going back to the ship! And if you won't go away, I will."

She jumped off her chair. "You don't have to leave."

"So yer going back?"

"No. We can just talk. Simon or the Captain wouldn't mind talking." She suggested eagerly.

"Not interested."

He turned towards the bar. Not enough that this little brat was nagging him on the ship. Even here where he wanted nothing else than a cold drink -or three- and maybe some warm female company.

Though definitely not the female company of Serenity's own deranged psycho-girl.

When he felt her small hand clutching his arm he huffed sourly and shrugged her off.

"What?"

"We can talk about a book…"

"I told ya I'm not interested. " he rumbled

"… I got from Inara, it's titled…"

"You're deaf?"

She stopped talking and blinked at him owlishly. " No, actually it's titled '_How to pleasure a man with_' hu-umpf !"

"Woah, no way, girl!" One big hand clasped over the girl's mouth as he looked around suspiciously. "Someone hears about this and tells the Captain I'd be airlocked faster than one can say 'airlock'. "

"..arfful confershashon." Came her muffled voice behind his hand when he shoved her into the booth again.

"Huh?" Warily he took his hand away from the girl's mouth, ready to shut her up again if this might be necessary.

"Artful conversation."

"Come again?"

" '_How to pleasure a man with artful_ _conversation_'. The book Inara gave me." She looked at him curiously, "What did you think this book was about?"

"Nothing that should bother you." He cut her off, "So, are you going now, or…"

Suspicious he watched her eyes cloud a little bit.

"What are you doin'?" _She wouldn't, would she?_

"Oh?"

"Oh, no! Don't ya dare!" His thread remained unheard and her eyes clouded a little more

"Oh."

"Get outta my head, looney! "

He couldn't help himself but think about what else she could do with this plum lips of hers, twisted into this perfect little round of surprise.

"OH!"

"I told ya to stay out of my head!" Jayne was near furious and River refocused again.

"What was that you thought about? I read about it in another of Inara's books but that wasn't such a vivid experience like…."

"Ya know what, I'm off! I don't wanna have this conversation with you, hell I don't wanna have ANY conversation with you at all. You're coming in here, disturbing my peace, poking around in my head…."

"Yes, you're probably right." Her pensive admission caused him to halt in his rant.

"Sure I'm right." He glared at her still suspicious what she was up to. "About what?"

Thoughtfully she laid her finger on the tip of her nose. "I really should talk to Inara about your thoughts, I mean the things you were thinking of. She's the expert and she's the one who had given me the book."

"About the talking?"

"No, silly, about the things you had been thinking of."

This time it was his hand clutching at her sleeve.

"No way! If you'll tell Inara about what I thought, she'll probly take off my man parts with a dull rusty spoon herself…. Before she tells the Captain, who'd kick me outta airlock with Simon's help. Fear o' the black or not." He huffed unhappy and River's face lightened up with glee.

"So I can stay and we will talk? About the book?"

He growled but River knew she had won. "Which one?"

"Whatever Jayne likes."

Jayne sighed defeated and turned to the bar. He desperately needed a drink now.

"Make it two!" The cheery voice of the girl followed him through the bar.


End file.
